


The Lips of an (ex-)Angel

by captain_americano



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Human!Crowley, Hunting, I haven't watched season nine oops, Kissing, M/M, Sexual Tension, Unbeta'd, fallen!cas, post Season 8 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-02-03 00:26:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1724414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_americano/pseuds/captain_americano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has fallen, Dean is awkward and Sam plays matchmaker, well, sort of. Not only do I suck at titles, but also summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lips of an (ex-)Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I wrote this all the way back last year after the season eight finale. It's how I thought season nine should've started, I guess. I feel really bad because it keeps switching POVs and I'm not exactly sure of the proper narrative writing structure and my Beta's are MIA, so I am defs in need of a beta (hmu).  
> *whispers* sorry that there is no emphasis through the use of italics, do you know how hard it is to cut and paste and edit from the onenote ipad app to the ao3 posting page? so. damn. hard.

"Dean, Crowley was talking to me..." Sam's voice sounded weak, his face drained of any color.

"Whatever he said was bull, Sam. Now relax, I'll get you back to the bunker," Dean said, glancing at the sky one last time as the lights of falling angels showered the earth. He moved to help his brother stand but Sam pushed him away without much strength or force.

"Dean, I need to heal Crowley," He said tiredly. Dean clenched his jaw, frustrated with his brother.

"Is this about the angels falling? Because I said that no matter what you are absolutely not completing the final task, the demise of Heaven's Finest included," Dean snapped impatiently.

"I can cure Crowley. I don't have to do the spell or make it a task. Just let me heal him," Sam begged, his voice slipping to barely a whisper.

"Sam, I can't let you die. Not again. Never again," Dean slumped against the car door. "Why do you want to, anyway?"

"He's so close, Dean. You should have heard the way he was speaking. We can't just leave him there. He... He's right. He deserves to be loved," Sam said quietly. Dean scoffed.

"Yeah, alright, Samantha, the King of Hell needs some love," Dean said sarcastically.

"Just... Just let me do this. I won't die. Promise." Sam looked up at his brother with wide, hopeful eyes and Dean felt his resilience slipping. 

"Fine. Go. Cure." he resigned. Sam smiled tightly and slowly stood. Dean watched him stumble a little on his way to the church.

"Jesus, it's like watching Bambi," he muttered to himself. He looked up at the sky. There were no more falling angels as far as he could see and he felt his stomach clench in a horrible twist of fear and guilt.

"Cas," he moaned quietly. Dean stood and looked around, half hoping for his friend to appear beside him like he had so many times before. He glared around, then back at the sky, before closing his eyes. "Cas. Can... Can you hear me? Is everything okay?" he sighed hopelessly, opening his eyes after a few quiet moments. He ran his fingers through his hair defeatedly, thinking about the last time he'd seen Cas before this whole ordeal. Cas had just appeared in the middle of the road and Dean had wanted to write him off. Dean wished with all his heart that he could've just run Cas through with an angel sword and not give a crap, but even after everything Cas had done since, well, pretty much the not-apocalypse, he was still Dean's best friend. And when Dean looked at the bigger picture, Cas' wins were on pretty even terms with his mistakes. Dean took a steadying breath and forced himself to not feel to guilty. His mind flicked back to the bar, not even an hour ago, where he sat with Cas. He'd wanted to say more in his parting words but as he'd opened his mouth to say something he bit it back. What could you say to the angel who had gripped you tight and raised you from perdition? Who had rebelled heaven for you and your brother? Who had turned into god and let the Leviathan loose on the world? The angel who had come back and saved your brother again? Who had abandoned you in Purgatory and stayed as a punishment to himself? Who had finally come back, only to have his brain hijacked to the extreme of almost killing you? The angel who pulled through all of that and was planning on closing Heaven for good, meaning you'd never see him again? There's nothing appropriate to say to that angel. So Dean had closed his mouth. And now he didn't know if his angel was in Heaven or on Earth or even alive/existing as a wavelength of celestial intent.

If the area surrounding the church hadn't been so quiet - and Dean didn't have hunter's ears - he may not have heard the unmistakable whump of a body hitting the ground. He had jumped up and tore into the church before his brain caught up with his legs. When his mind kicked into gear, he saw Sam lying on the ground next to Crowley's chair. Dean collapsed onto the ground next to his brother and grasped for a pulse, his hands shaking. He held his breath, checking all of his little brother's pulse points before making out a very faint heartbeat. 

"He did it," a surprised, raspy voice said from beside him. Dean paid the former demon little attention and he scooped up his moose of a brother and carried him to the car. After a few minutes' struggle, Sam was sprawled haphazardly on the back seat of the Impala. He vaguely remembered Sam saying something about not just leaving Crowley there. He was so exhausted, mentally and emotionally - he just wanted to get Sam back to the bunker and make sure he was okay and then maybe try to find Cas, but instead, he decided to check if Crowley really was a human. He performed the basic tests plus some and Crowley came up clean. All the while the former demon was struggling with tears and apologizing.

"You... You have no idea. I don't even know. Why did I do all of those things? I-I'm sorry," he murmured quietly as Dean led him to the Impala. Dean briefly wondered if it was a bad idea to take Crowley back to the bunker, but with Sam in his current state it was difficult to care too much. If something went wrong, Crowley seemed weak enough to be locked in the dungeon where the Men of Letters had done their previous 'experiments'.

Dean sped back to the bunker, not bothering to drive too safely; he just needed to get Sam rested up. At the bunker, Dean made the executive decision to lock Crowley in one of the rooms that was covered in demon traps and other sigils - just in case. After that was sorted, he briefly explained to Kevin what was going on and carried Sam back to his bedroom.

He gently laid his monstrous brother on the bed and ducked to the bathroom for some wet towels. Upon returning, he carefully placed a towel across his brother's forehead and gently cleaned his bleeding hand with another. He checked for a pulse and was pleased to find the heartbeat stronger than it had been twenty minutes earlier. 

"You promised you'd be okay. You better pull through, Sammy," Dean whispered before exiting the room. His mind was racing a mile a minute and he felt dizzy, his chest constricted. 

"Kevin - keep an eye on Sam!" He yelled as he raced through the bunker, desperately needing to get outside, flood his lungs with fresh air. When he made it outside he didn't stop running. How could he? If he could just run, maybe his problems would be left behind. Maybe Sam would get better - maybe it wouldn't even matter if he didn't. Perhaps Cas would show up - perhaps Metatron had killed him and if Dean kept running it wouldn't be such a big deal. Sam. Cas. Sam. Cas. Sam. Cas...

He hadn't realized he'd been huffing those names - the names of the two most important people in the world - until he tripped and collapsed in a heaving pile, sobs wracking through his chest, "Sam" and "Cas" slipping through his dry lips like a quiet prayer. Only now there was no one to hear his prayer. No God - that was established long ago. No angels - he'd just seen them fall. Probably every last angel had fallen including -  
"Castiel!" He yelled, rolling onto his back and breathing heavily, trying to calm down. Cas, if he was alive, would be human. He would be goodness knows where; no way of knowing how to get to Dean, all alone somewhere, powerless and afraid. That thought hurt Dean almost as much of the thought of his best friend being dead. No. He shook away the image of Cas lying on the ground - his bright blue eyes wide and dull and staring, the haunting burnt outline of the wings sprawled out from his lifeless body. He sat up and ran a hand through his short hair and something occurred to him. Cas and Dean shared a... What had Cas called it? A 'profound bond'. Even in his head the term sounded douchey to Dean, but he half smiled, none the less. Truth be told he kind of liked being connected to someone that way. And maybe, just maybe... That connection could hold even if his angel fell. The bond was profound, maybe even enough to last through something like that. It was a long shot, but Dean was willing to try it on the off chance of getting his angel back safe.

"Cas, I... I need to you hear this. I need you to be okay." He took a deep steadying breath, unsure of what to say. When he continued he raised his voice a little. "Come on man, you know what I've been through and I know what you've been through for me. For me. We've been together for years. I can't lose you now, Cas. Not now, not ever. I need you to be alive and hearing this, Cas. I need you to come back to me. Please. Cas. Damnit. Cas. Cas? Castiel!" He shouted, slumping back onto the ground, hopeless. He figured he'd just lay there. There's no way he could find his way back to the bunker until sunrise, anyway. He thought he could hear a faint voice in the distance but... How long has it been since I slept? He honestly could not remember.

"Dean?" That was definitely a voice and definitely his name. He froze and held his breath. "Dean!" The voice was faint but it sounded like... No, don't get your hopes up.  
His hunter ears picked up someone stumbling through the woods about a hundred yards to his right and he stood up, ready to defend himself. The forest was dark, hardly any light seeping through the trees but he made out a vague figure moving closer.

"Who's there?" He asked quietly - there was no need to be loud. The figure stopped moving.

"Dean?" Yep, that voice definitely sounded like -  
The figure broke into a full run and crashed into Dean, sending them both falling onto the ground. 

"Cas," Dean groaned in relief, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend as Cas broke down and sobbed into his chest. 

+

Castiel had held it together relatively well, he'd thought, until he heard Dean praying. When he awoke, his chest was tight and his head was thrumming. He started to feel dizzy and - oh! He sucked in a deep breath and then another and then another, his head clearing and his chest growing less and less painful. I guess I have to breathe now, he sighed inwardly. He could barely see his hands in front of his face in the dark forest, but he could see a clearing up ahead. He stood up too quickly and felt dizzy again, he could hear his heartbeat. His heartbeat. He moved to the clearing, his gut wrenching as he looked to the sky and saw beams of light falling like massive raindrops.

"No," He had whispered. This was all his fault. Everything was all his fault. Damnit. He needed to find his Dean and they could figure it out together. Dean. Dean was going to kill him. He'd basically threatened that earlier when Cas had left with the angel tablet and now that all the angels had fallen... Oh god, Dean was totally going to kill him. He needed to find Dean and apologize, to... 

He wandered aimlessly through the woods for a good hour, hoping to find a road or a house, even a freaking river or something to guide him somewhere! He was beginning to give up hope and considered using his trench coat as a blanket - fantastic, his now-human body was able to feel the cold - and waiting at the base of a tree until daylight, but he heard a voice. It was faint at first but he heard it shout.

"Castiel!" It called. And it was the most beautiful voice in the world, how wonderfully convenient that Dean was in the direct vicinity of him!

"Dean!" He breathed, moving toward where the voice had come from. "Dean!" He shouted. 

"Who's there?" He heard from a little ways away and paused, eyes searching the shadows. Finally, his unadjusted human eyes fell on Dean's shape and he launched forward, forgetting to stop when he reached his friend and currently being to weak to hold himself upright as he crashed into Dean. That was when Cas finally broke. He started sobbing in relief that he'd found Dean, guilt for breaking heaven - again, and just the sheer exhaustion of being human. Crying. That's not something his vessel ever did while hosting a celestial being. And now he wasn't a celestial being trapped in a human body, he was simply a human body which made him cry harder. He barely noticed Dean's protective arms wrapped around him, or the way his friend was murmuring reassurances into his ear. After a while he hiccoughed himself int a sitting position beside Dean, the other man copying him.

"I'm so sorry, Cas," Dean whispered.

"My fault," Castiel murmured.

"You didn't know. Metatron lied to us all. Naomi never previously did anything but lie to you, why should this time have been different?" Dean rubbed Cas' arm in a comforting manner and Castiel sighed.

"Are you going to kill me, Dean?" He deadpanned. No point beating around the bush. Dean visibly flinched.

"No. Cas... I-I'm sorry about what I said that day. You... You're my best friend. I would never kill you. I was so scared th-that Metatron had killed you, I..." He pulled himself up short, too far into a chick flick moment. He shook his head and smirked a little, trying to recover.

"C'mon, man, we'll get you to the bunker and freshen you up. No way is that tax accountant get-up going to last long now that you're human." Dean stood and offered Cas his hand.

"Human," Cas sighed, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. Dean paused and looked at him.

"Hey, could be worse. This means - and I swear to god if you tell Sam I've got this soft side I'll kick your human ass into next week - it means you can find love, settle down, grow old," Dean smiled warmly, his teeth gleaming, even in the dark woods.

"Please, Dean, we both know that in a fight I could kick your ass, even as a human," Cas smirked, hollowly. Dean chuckled lightly.

"You're on, man, but not tonight. We need to get back to the bunker, I need to check  
on Sammy."

"Oh, Sam," Castiel groaned. "I wish I could be an angel for just five minutes more to heal him." 

"Thanks, Cas, that means a lot. I think he'll be okay - in time. Jeez, you're human, Crowley is human... Times, they are a-changin'." Dean carefully started heading down a slope; he had a vague idea of where he was going.

"Crowley is a human? Sam cured him? How is Sam not dead?" Cas asked, concern running thick through his tone.

"I reluctantly let him finish the job... He said he'd be okay as long as he didn't say the magic words. I guess we'll find out soon enough," Dean shrugged and continued walking, Cas hurrying noisily behind him.

"I guess this means no more sneaking up on me, huh?" Dean asked, chuckling a little at the volume of Castiel's human footsteps. Suddenly, the noises stopped and Dean whipped around. "Cas?" He said quietly, tensing because he could no longer see or hear Castiel. A hand clamped down on his shoulder and in one fluid movement Dean had spun around and pinned the owner to the ground. "Damnit, Cas." Dean grumbled, getting off the trench-coated figure.

"Sorry, Dean, guess I proved you wrong, though," Cas got up and wiped the dirt off his shirt.

"Yeah, your still the champion of silently invading people's personal space. Come on, I don't think it's too far from here," They trekked on for another ten minutes, finally making it to the small road along which, somewhere, the bunker was located. In another five minutes, Dean was shouldering through the door and leading Cas to the kitchen. There was a note on the table in Kevin's messy scrawl.

Dean --  
Sam's temperature, breathing and heart rate went back to normal. He woke up briefly and I explained what happened. He told me to catch some Z's and went back to sleep. He should be okay. See you in the morning.  
K

Dean glanced at the clock - it was a little after midnight.

"I know you probably don't feel one hundred percent at the moment, but I'm just gonna make you some toast to eat because..." Dean didn't really want to finish that sentence. Cas wouldn't need reminding of his mortality.

"Thank you, but I'm alright," Cas said, standing around awkwardly.

"Just... Eat. For me?" Dean asked, sighing.

"Okay," Cas said quietly and sat at the kitchen table. Dean pulled out the toaster and popped some bread in. Since Cas wasn't familiar with condiments and Dean had no idea what he would like, he put a little bit of butter and strawberry jam on the toast and poured Cas a glass of water.

"Here you go," Dean smiled, placing the food and drink in front of his friend.

"Thank you, Dean." Cas said sincerely, eyeing the toast cautiously. He picked it up and slowly nibbled at a corner as Dean watched in anticipation. "It's..." Cas chewed slowly, absorbing the sweet flavor of the jam. "Different. Different good." He amended, taking a slightly larger bite.

"Whew, okay," Dean sighed in relief. At least there was one thing he'd be able to get Cas to eat. "Here, have a drink," He said firmly, pushing the glass toward Castiel.

"Why?" Cas asked.

"Food is only so-so. You can survive on the bare minimum, but drinking water is essential," Dean explained. So many odd things Castiel would have to be taught about human. Castiel seemed to accept Dean's explanation and took a large swig. Castiel ate one and a half pieces of toast before pushing the plate away. Dean didn't miss a beat before cleaning up the scraps and washing the plate. 

"Thanks, Cas. Eating is just one of those things you'll have to get used to. Drinking, too," Dean said, a little sadly.

"It's strange," Castiel began. "Breathing. And hearing my heartbeat. Dean... Is it quiet normal for... Never mind." Cas sighed.

"What is it buddy?" Dean asked. "You feeling tired?" Cas cocked his head to one side and peered at Dean.

"Yes. I suppose that's all it is. Humans need the regulated four hours, correct?" He asked uncertainly.

"Uh, not really. That's more... Self-medicated. A healthy amount is around eight," Dean said sheepishly. "I'll let you sleep in my bed for tonight, I'll make up another bedroom for you tomorrow - you must be beat." Cas wasn't entirely sure what that meant but he felt it best to agree. His eyes felt heavy and despite his human form he felt a familiar emotion - sad. Dean led his friend to his room and stood in the doorway. 

"Er, this is it, I guess," Dean shrugged and grabbed a pair of pyjama pants and a shirt and tossed them to Cas. "They'll be more comfortable to sleep in," Dean explained in answer to Cas' confused expression. Dean turned down the covers and moved to the doorway. "See you in the mornin' I guess. Goodnight, Cas." Dean said quietly. Castiel swallowed audibly and looked at the floor. 

"Night Dean." He replied quietly as his friend left. As he slowly changed into the clothes Dean handed him, he felt his eyes grow wet. "Not this again," he murmured, wiping his eyes and sniffing. He couldn't help it, though, and soon the tears were falling freely. When he was dressed, he sat on the bed and ferociously wiped his eyes, trying to stem the flow and sniffed heavily. Human bodily functions were very peculiar and he wasn't enjoying it.

As soon as he left Cas to his bedroom, Dean headed to grab some blankets and make up the couch. He was headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth when he heard a quiet sniffling coming from the dark of his bedroom. He quietly padded in and sat next to Cas' silhouette, wrapping an arm around the dark shoulders.

"Hey, it'll be okay," Dean said quietly, unsure of what else to do.

"I'm s-s-sorry, Dean. I d-don't know why I keep-keep doing this!" Castiel said frustratedly.

"It's okay, Cas. Don't apologize. Just take some deep breaths and try to calm down," Dean rubbed Castiel's back gently in what he hoped was a comforting manner. Cas slumped forward and hung his head in his hands, breathing hard. 

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this. Also, I apologize for taking your bed. Where will you be sleeping tonight?" Cas asked, obviously trying to distract himself.

"Like I said, Cas, don't apologize. I'm just gonna sleep on the lounge," Dean shrugged, removing his arm from around Cas. Castiel took a deep breath and nodded minutely.

"You could sleep in here if you wanted. I'm sure the couch isn't comfortable." He said it so quietly that Dean could have chosen to ignore it and he thought perhaps that's what he decided to do after a long pause.

"I..." Dean paused awkwardly. "No, thank you. The couch will be sufficient," he said, overly formal. 

"Dean, please, I..." His voice was so small and he forced himself to stop talking before he messed thing up one more in his miserable life. Dean shook his head absolutely and took a shaky breath.

"No, Castiel." He said Cas' full name. He almost never said Cas' full name. Castiel recoiled a little at the rejection but nodded. Dean was probably beginning to realize he should be angry, and wanting to get away from the pathetic excuse of an angel - well, man.

"Right. Well, um... Goodnight, Dean." Castiel said, shifting away from the hunter and huddling under the sheets.

Dean was a little taken aback at Cas' chilly tone and instantly felt guilty.

"Yeah, night, Cas." He removed himself from the bedroom and brushed his teeth and went to his makeshift bed. He mentally made a list of all the things he'd have to do when the sun rose - check on Sam (major priority), check on Cas (priority), check on Crowley (somewhat important)... His mind was flying all over the place. What was going on in Heaven? What was Metatron up to? Were there any angels left at all? Was there anyway to restore Cas' grace? If not how would he cope with being human? Kevin had the Angel tablet, perhaps there was something there... As long as Metatron didn't come looking for it... And Sam... Was he going to get better? From what Kevin said in the note he was already improving. Sam was a fighter, he'd pull through. He had to pull through. Was Crowley actually human? If yes - what would the do with him? If no - what would they do with him? And Cas... Why did Cas wanna share the bed? Surely he just wanted a little reassurance, right? Dean began to feel uncomfortable and worried that it was something more. If he was honest with himself - which he rarely was - he would have loved to share the bed with Cas. But instead he cheerfully lied to himself and pretended that he was very much interested in almost anyone other than Castiel, particularly anyones with pussies. Eventually he slipped into a restless slumber.

Castiel tried not to dwell on Dean's rejection. He wasn't sure if Dean was pissed at him for wrecking Heaven - worse than last time - or was just uncomfortable sharing a bed. Neither of those thoughts were particularly comforting, so he tried to push them from his mind, eventually slipping into an uneasy sleep filled with strange dreams. He woke up feeling tired and confused - dreaming was quite bizarre! As an angel, he'd had his fantasies, but dreams were something else entirely. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, slowly slinking out of the warm bed. He padded through the large hallways and rooms, quietly sneaking past Dean who looked uncomfortable in his slumber, his body far to long for the couch. Castiel sighed and rolled his eyes at the hunter. He made it to the kitchen and saw Kevin sitting at the table, working on translating the Angel Tablet.

"Thank you for continuing with that, Kevin, it is imperative that we know all we can about Heaven," Castiel said seriously. Kevin nodded but aside from that paid no attention to Cas. Castiel wasn't sure about what he needed to eat but he vaguely remembered Dean saying something about drinking water... It was important? Yeah, well, so is affection, Dean, Cas thought bitterly.

Castiel sipped his water slowly, rolling his tongue through the liquid, feeling the cold, tasting the slight tang. His eyes felt heavy, like there was an invisible weight pressing against him and he recognized this as being tired. He felt a subtle shift in the air – one that would have been more noticeable if he hadn’t lost his grace – and looked up to see Dean standing in the doorway, rubbing his eyes. Castiel’s stomach clenched and he nervousy waited for whatever onslaught Dean may throw at him… 

“’Morning Kevin, Cas.” Dean said, his voice gravelly and low from sleep. Kevin nodded again and Castiel’s reply caught in his throat. He looked at the ground and felt his cheeks grow warm. Just another peculiar human occurrence, he supposed. He had often seen Dean’s cheeks tinged with red after catching Castiel staring at him, the way it highlighted the freckles splattered over his cheeks… Dean ignored Cas’ lack of reply, in fact he ignored Castiel altogether and went about making himself a coffee. Dean fiddled around, purposely keeping his back to Cas. He was a little uncomfortable about the previous night, in all honesty. Luckily, a distraction came in the giant form of Sam.

“Sam, buddy, how are you feeling?” Dean asked, switching from uncomfortable to concerned in point-oh-two seconds. Sam positively looked like crap, as he had since he started the stupid tasks, but at least he was out of bed and walking.

“’M okay, Dean.” He slumped into the chair next to Kevin and rubbed his hands over his face, heaving a sigh. Dean handed his coffee to his brother and made himself another. Castiel had slipped, unnoticed, out of the kitchen to leave the brothers alone (although Kevin was there, he wasn’t really present). He slowly made his way to the extensive library and immersed himself in one of the books, finding it to be a pleasant distraction.

“So what happened with Crowley?” Sam asked after sculling half of his coffee in one go. Dean broke out in a large, genuine grin.

“I think you did it, Sammy, I really do!” He clapped his brother on the back. Sam smiled a little and looked relieved.

“Ah, so it wasn’t for nothing. Where is he now?” 

“I put him in the room with all the protection. I did the tests, but, you know, thought I’d give it twenty four hours to be sure,” Dean said, taking a sip of his own coffee. Sam’s face fell a little as a thought occurred to him.

“What about Cas?” He asked quietly. He had seen Castiel briefly when he entered the kitchen, but he had bombarded Dean with questions. Dean looked guiltily at the ground and bit the inside of his cheek, steeling himself.

“He fell. He was pretty upset. Really upset.” He sighed. Sam looked up sadly.

“You better go find him. He shouldn’t be alone right now. He’ll need to eat and sleep and probably shower--”

“I-I can’t get him to shower, dude, that's weird!" Dean said indignantly.

"I'm not suggesting you physically undress him, he'll just need reminding. He wouldn't have showered as an angel," Sam scoffed, drinking the rest of his coffee and yawning. 

"Take him a coffee. It'll change his life." Sam smirked. "I'm going back to bed. We can find a case later, right? I think we all need more rest." He didn't wait for his brother to reply before washing his cup and heading back to his bedroom. Dean sighed and put his coffee down. He knew he needed to be there for Cas but he wasn't sure how to make things better. Maybe the former angel just needed time. Seeing as Sam wanted to sleep and he had no angel to find him a case, Dean decided to go and look for Cas, make him have some breakfast or something. And avoid the conversation from last night at all costs. Wandering aimlessly around the cold deserted hallways, he thought of all the places Cas could be. 

"Cas? You around here buddy?" He called every now and then. He checked the lounge room and his bedroom but he couldn't find him. "Cas? Where are you?"

Castiel heard Dean calling for him and gathered his book and retreated to one of the hidden corners in the back of the library.

Dean pushed open the heavy wooden door and peered into the musty library.

"Cas? You in here?" He called softly, his voice echoing around the book shelves. He couldn't see or hear any evidence of life in the dark room so he gently closed the door and continued his search. Castiel wasn't sure why he'd been holding his breath, but he found himself relaxing when he knew Dean hadn't noticed him.

Dean slowly walked back to the kitchen and found Sam sitting at the table.

"I couldn't find Cas - why aren't you in bed?" Dean asked.

"Oh, I couldn't sleep and I figured you wouldn't be able to either. I found a case if you're interested?" Sam handed a newspaper to his brother and tapped on the article.

"Already? Eager much?" Dean scanned the writing. "Couple goes missing along the highway?" Dean looked at his brother quizzically.

"Gay couple," Sam pointed out.

"Er, right. So?"

"They're the thirty-sixth gay couple since the forties to go missing along that highway," Sam said.

"Thirty six? Jesus!" Dean choked.

"Yeah. Seventy four people. Worth looking into?" Sam asked.

"You sure you're up for it?" Dean eyed his brother.

"Yes, Dean. I'm going to the library, if its been happening since the forties there might be something in the archives. Can you go into the town library and grab some stuff for me?" Sam asked, already moving from the table.

"Yeah, sure," Dean watched his brother's giant figure leave. Dean went and had a quick  
shower before ducking into town, while Sam headed for the Men of Letters' extensive library.

Cas heard someone enter the library and made himself as scarce as possible. He heard light footsteps and supposed it was Sam - not only did Dean avoid entering the library at all costs, Sam was definitely lighter on his feet, despite his deceptive size.  
Sam headed straight to the back of the library, for the archives, and his heightened hunter senses told him he wasn't alone. He peered around the nearest bookshelf and saw Cas huddled in a chair, clutching a book tightly.

"Oh, so this is where you've been hiding? Dean was looking for you, man!" Sam began cautiously. Castiel closed his book and stood.

"Are you alright, Cas? You don't have to hide from us, you know that, right? We're here for you, Dean and I," Sam promised eagerly, moving forward to give the shorter man a quick hug. Castiel felt himself well up a little at the support Sam was showing but couldn't help being a little frustrated as to why Dean couldn't be like that, too.

"I thought Dean would be angry with me," Castiel admitted, fascinated by the carpet.

"What? No, Cas, he's worried about you. We both are. C'mon,we need to get you showered, dressed and fed," Sam said bossily and led Cas to the bathroom, pushing the awkward discomfort from his mind. He turned the shower on and waited for it to warm up before turning to Cas.

"When I leave, undress, hop under the water and close the curtain," Sam began.

"I do not need this explanation, I know how bathing works, I have frequently observed--"

"And I'll leave some clothes on Dean's bed for you. Just wrap a towel around yourself and duck across the hall to his room." Sam cut Cas off before he finished his sentence. He really, really didn't want to know about who Cas had watched showering. He shuddered softly and left Cas to it, heading to the kitchen in order to make some food for the former angel. He had a headache and felt a bit weak, however he knew he'd be okay; Cas was the one who currently needed help and support. He started getting pans and ingredients out but Dean burst into the kitchen with bags of diner food and books before he could start cooking.

"Breakfast of champions," Dean grinned, putting the bags down on the table.

"Yeah, right. I found Cas; he was in the library," Sam said, peering in the bags to find stacks of bacon and eggs, toast, pancakes and maple syrup in small round containers. 

"Uh-huh. Wait, I checked there!" Dean looked a little guilty.

"He was hiding in the back corner," Sam shrugged, making himself a plate of food. Dean grabbed his bag of personal items and slunk off to his room to hide them before Sam could pester him. He flung open his bedroom door to see a dripping wet not-angel in a tiny white towel, blushing like a school girl.

"D-Dean, I'm sorry, Sam left clothes for me on your bed, I was just getting changed, I'm really sorry!" Cas spluttered, highly embarrassed.

"Erm, that's..." Dean forced his eyes to the ground because he was most certainly not checking out an almost naked fallen angel. "It's fine, Cas, really. I'll leave you to it." And Dean spun on his heel and closed the door. He waited around the corner from his room until he heard the door open and the sound of Castiel's footsteps growing fainter before he moved to his room. He shoved his bag of supplies into his bedside table and made his way back to the kitchen because he was starving. Castiel was sitting at the table, his cheeks still warm as he was picking at his food. Sam was finished eating and was looking at his laptop and Kevin had moved off to be alone. 

"So, I found something," Sam said as Dean sat next to him and tucked into his food. "A bit before the first disappearance a priest died in a car crash along the highway. I did a bit of research and it turns out he was quite vocal about homosexuality being a sin."

"You think he's haunting the highway?" Dean asked through a mouthful of eggs, earning him a bitchface from Sam.

"Considering no straight couple or single people have gone missing along the highway at all, I would say, yeah, he is," Sam closed his laptop and leaned back in his chair.

"So simple salt and burn. I love it. Where's he buried?" Dean asked, grinning at the simple task.

"Well, er... He was cremated," Sam said quietly.

"So why would his ghost-?"

"I'm thinking maybe there's a bit of him along the highway from the crash," Sam sighed.

"Are you kidding? How the hell are we meant to find whatever that may be?" Dean snapped. Castiel had stayed quiet during the boy's conversation, afraid to draw attention to himself incase Dean got angry.

"Well, the ghost'll be attached to it, right? So we just need bait and wherever it shows up, around there will be whatever needs burning!" Sam said as though it were obvious.

"Bait?" Dean said thoughtfully. Sam's eyes flicked pointedly between Dean and Cas. "Nope. Absolutely not, Sam."

Castiel, who had missed the exchange, continued quietly eating his breakfast and staring at the plate.

"We don't have any other choice, Dean," Sam said, starting to get pissed off.

"Yes, we do! You do it!" Dean spat, equally annoyed.

"We're not the ones who share a 'more profound bond'. It'll be more believable if its you two." It was at this point Castiel recognized they were talking about him.

"Uh, what are you two-?"

"Sam is suggesting that we pretend to be a couple as bait to get the ghost," Dean glared at his brother. Castiel immediately regretted asking and looked down at his plate, blushing again. Sam felt guilty as he saw Cas duck his head and blush.

"Cas, can you give Dean and I a minute?" Sam asked gently, pushing away from the table and leaving the kitchen, Dean hastily following.

"What is your problem?" Sam snarled once they were out of earshot. "What's the big deal about pretending Cas is your boyfriend?"

"I'm not gay!" Dean said adamantly.

"That's why it's pretend you idiot! Isn't he good enough for you?" 

"It's not that. It's just..." Dean gripped for an excuse other than the fact that he was totally uncomfortable around Cas after the previous night. "He's human!" He mentally patted himself on the back. "It's too dangerous. What if something happens?"

"You and I'll be there to protect him," Sam argued.

"He won't want to do it!" Dean grasped at that last shred of hope.

"One way to find out," They headed back to the kitchen to find Castiel shifting scraps of food around on his plate.

"Uh, Cas, would you mind helping us out with this case?" By now Castiel was positive that Dean was angry with him - possibly even hated him - so he hesitated before answering.

"I... I don't want to make Dean feel uncomfortable," He looked at Sam, completely avoiding eye contact with the shorter man.

"You-you won't make me uncomfortable," Dean said a little grudgingly. "We need your help." 

"O-okay." Castiel gave a tiny nod, even though he knew Dean was lying. 

"Great, thanks, Cas," Sam said in relief. "We should do it tonight, get it out of the way."

"Are you sure you're up for it?" Dean asked his little brother.

"I'm fine, Dean," Sam waved him off. "D'you think we should take some food to Crowley?"

"I'll do it," Dean volunteered, needing to get away from... Well, Cas, if he was totally honest. 

Dean returned twenty minutes later with a clean plate. 

"Yeah, Crowley is human and he's okay."

"Dean, can you leave Cas and I alone for a moment?" Sam asked pointedly. Dean shrugged and walked back out of the kitchen, heading back to his bedroom.

"Are you sure you're okay with doing this?" Sam asked in concern.

"Yes, I am certain." Castiel replied, but Sam remained unconvinced.

"Will you... Tell me what happened?" Sam asked softly. Castiel visibly tended and his eyes grew wide as he stared at Sam. "It's just... We need to know, so that we can..." He didn't want to say 'fix it', it would probably make Cas feel worse.

"I-I... I will tell you. But not now. After tonight." Castiel promised hesitantly. He couldn't go through with tonight if Dean and Sam knew the truth, and Dean most certainly wouldn't be able to.

"It's okay, Cas. Just tell me when you're ready." Sam patted his friend on the shoulder and left him alone.

+

"It's time." Sam told Cas quietly. Castiel nodded and the left the safety and warmth of the bunker with the hunters. He sat in the front seat with Dean and when they pulled onto the haunted highway, Dean drove one-handed and wrapped his other arm around Castiel's shoulders, pulling the smaller man in close. Sam, forever the embarrassing little brother, couldn't help making loud smooching noises from the back seat, causing Dean to flip him off. Castiel cringed and tried to ignore Sam. He knew it was more to piss Dean off that to make fun of Castiel.

"Cut it out, Sammy." Dean snapped as he pulled over to the side of the road. The three men got out of the car and Dean awkwardly took Castiel's hand. Cas was nervous and jittery and there was no sign of him relaxing.

"Cas, calm down, make it look natural!" Sam hissed. Castiel forced himself to take a deep breath and he and Dean followed Sam along the highway, hand in hand. 

"Hey, look at this," Sam pointe his flashlight to a tree with a weathered wooden cross on it. "You think this is where it happened?" 

"I guess." Dean dropped Cas' hand like it burned him. "We'll have a look around, see if we can find something. "Cas, do me a favour and stick by Sam. He'll make sure you're safe if the ghost shows up." Dean walked off with his flashlight, leaving Castiel feeling like he'd been punched in the gut. Sam didn't notice the effect Dean's words might have had and moved around, shining his flashlight around the ground. After five minutes, Sam bent down and picked something up.

"Dean? You around? Come back!" He hissed, examining the bone. Dean came jogging back.

"Is-is that a finger?" Dean asked when Sam presented the bone for inspection. Sam nodded and put salt and lighter fluid on it and set it on fire.

"Did it work?" Castiel asked, shivering from the slight cold his now-human body was experiencing. Great, something else to make him feel powerless and tiny.

"I don't know." Sam replied honestly. "I realize this is a lot to ask, but could you two..." Dean pulled Cas in and gave him a firm kiss on the lips before Sam could even finish his question. Dean pulled back and waited for a long, silent moment before heading back to the car. 

"C'mon, Cas, let's get outta here," Sam glanced at Castiel who was staring sadly at the ground, his blush obvious even in the moonlight. Dean really sucked sometimes.

"What about the victims?" Cas asked quietly.

"Our research indicated that the priest was hell-bent on executing anyone convicted of homosexuality, and if in seventy years no one has reappeared, we're unfortunately led to believe the most recent couple, as well as all of the others, has met the same fate," Sam said regretfully.

As soon as they were back at the bunker, Dean stalked off, muttering something about making up a spare room for Castiel to sleep in. 

"Sam, I... I'm ready to tell you about everything, if that's okay," Castiel said, taking a deep breath.

"Would it be too uncomfortable for you if Dean were here? I know things are kinda tense between you two right now but I think he needs to hear it too," Sam asked. Cas supposed Sam was right and nodded, though Dean already knew most of the story there was one key detail he didn't want the older Winchester to know.

They waited in silence for Dean to return.

"Jeez it looks like someone died in here. What's going on?" He asked, sitting on the lounge beside Sam. Castiel, who was sitting across from the brothers, took a deep steadying breath.

"I'm... You need to know what happened. With everything," Castiel began. "As you know, Metatron gave me false information. I was under the impression the tasks I was doing were to close the gates of Heaven, to lock the angels in."

"So, what were the tasks?" Sam asked.

"The offspring of an angel and a human had to be slaughtered. I was against it, but she attacked us and I ended up killing her. The other task I completed was stealing the bow of a Cupid. Obviously Dean helped me with that," Castiel sighed slightly.

"And the third task?" Sam pressed. Castiel continued as though Sam hadn't interrupted.

"Then Naomi sh-showed up. Told us that Metatron was lying, he wasn't trying to close the gates of Heaven he wanted to expel all of the angels. Dean believed her, wanted to hear her out, but I didn't trust her," Castiel's voice had dropped to a shaky whisper and he was no longer maintaining eye contact. "Metatron killed her and when I went to find him, he... Told me Naomi was telling the truth, that I shouldn't have trusted him."

"What about the third task? What did he do?" Sam asked. Castiel looked down.

"He had to take the grace of an angel that fell in love with a human," Cas confessed quietly.

"I bet there aren't too many of those around." Sam said quietly.

"No angels spend enough time around humans to fall in love with one." Cas said heavily, carefully inspecting his hands.

"Except you, Cas. Jeez, practically all you do is... Oh. Oh." Sam opened and shut his mouth a couple of times before recovering. "So he took your grace and all the angels started falling?" Sam said quietly, moving past the confession that almost left him speechless and actually left Dean gaping at the wall behind Cas. Castiel nodded.

"I-I'm so sorry. I messed up again. I was just trying to stop the angels from screwing anything up anymore and I guess in a way I did that but I just made everything worse. I... I know you probably both hate me. I've messed up far too many times to ask for forgiveness. I can't ever redeem myself." Castiel's voice was thick and he felt tears welling in his eyes but he forced them back. Sam glanced at Dean who was still to shocked to provide comfort.

"Cas, if you hadn't done the first two tasks, Metatron would have anyway. It's not your fault. We don't blame you and there's nothing to forgive," Sam said awkwardly. Cas buried his face in his hands and breathed deeply through his nose. 

"I'm going to go to bed," Castiel shook his head and stood up suddenly.

"Y-your room is at the top of the stairs, first on the left." Dean said in a shaky voice. Castiel left the room without a backward glance. 

"Wow." Sam huffed, sinking into the lounge. The brothers sat silently for a while, each lost In their own thoughts. 

+

"Who do you think he fell in love with, then?" Dean asked quietly, after a while. Sam turned and looked at him disdainfully.

"You're not honestly that thick are you?" He said, slightly pitifully. Dean sighed and shook his head.

"No, I'm not. I was just hoping..."

"I'm sorry, I don't see the problem." Sam said questioningly.

"He-he's a guy! And he's our friend. Our awkward friend who has never been in a relationship because he used to be a frickin' angel! I don't think of him that way," But even as he said it he knew Sam didn't believe him and in all honesty he knew he was lying to himself a little bit. Sam snorted.

"Sure, Dean, whatever you need to tell yourself to help you sleep at night," Sam rolled his eyes. "Oh, by the way, I called Garth earlier and he's going to drop by to take Crowley off our hands. He's got some contacts that are willing to help him... Get back on his feet, I suppose."

"Right. What are we gonna do about Metatron?" Dean asked.

"He isn't really posing a threat right now. Can't we just leave him be? I mean, he kinda did us a solid, now there are no angels to deal with, himself included." Sam shrugged.

"Are you sure he's not an angel?" Dean quirked a brow.

"No, but Cas said the spell was to expel all angels. D'you think Heaven will be okay without them?" Sam asked.

"Okay? I think it'll be freakin' perfect! They're all dicks with wings if you ask me." Dean ran a hand through his hair, his thoughts wandering back to Castiel.

"What are you gonna do about Cas?" Sam asked. He was trying to be gentle, but he didn't want his brother to screw this - whatever this was - up.

"Sam," Dean warned.

"Really, Dean, you can't just ignore it - ignore Cas! And don't even pretend its unrequited, I've seen the way you look at him!" Sam snapped.

"I don't have to deal with this." Dean got up and left the lounge room to retire. Sam sighed in frustration and decided to do the same.

+

Over the next week or so, Garth had dropped in and took Crowley away, Kevin found a hiding spot in the bunker and was rarely seen and, as a matter of fact, so had Castiel. 

The first two hadn't really bothered the brothers but the fact that Castiel was obviously avoiding them made Dean nervous and both of them felt guilty.

"You need to talk to him." Sam said after eight days.

"Why?" Dean demanded. "He obviously doesn't want to speak to us."

"He needs comforting, someone to tell him everything will be alright. Damn it, Dean, you're his best friend! You need to be there for him!" Sam's patience was wearing thin.

"Sam, it's going to be uncomfortable, for both of us! I-I can't deal with this." Dean sighed.

"You have to! Man up and go and talk to him! Yes, it's going to be incredibly awkward, but Castiel doesn't deserve to be ignored." Sam crossed his arms and glared at his brother.

"What the hell am I meant to say to the guy? "Sorry that you were the last part of a spell to expel all angels from Heaven because you fell in love with me"? Is that what I'm supposed to say? It, uh, it has a nice ring to it. Do you think there's a greeting card for it? Or should I just go ahead embroider it onto a pillow?" Dean said sarcastically. 

"You know what? Fine. Ignore Cas. Lose, who is basically, the only friend we have. Drive him away. Forget everything that he's ever done for us because talking to him might be a little awkward. It's your choice." Sam snapped and stormed off. He stalked around the bunker, trying to find Cas. Not for the first time. He had looked for him before but never succeeded in finding him. Occasionally the man had appeared in the kitchen for a drink of water and a morsel of food and Sam heard him in the shower a couple of times, but had not found Castiel's hiding spot. He headed to the library, he knew that even as an angel Castiel had enjoyed reading. Sam wandered around the library and spotted a corner of the rug folded back. He went over to the bookshelf and looked at it. False wall? He started pulling random books out. He grabbed a heavy maroon book and pulled it back. It sprung back into place and the book shelf sprung inward. Huh, another secret room. One of hundreds that they hadn't already discovered, Sam suspected. He followed a small corridor that opened into a large room with a warm fire place and Castiel sitting in an armchair, a book in his hands. The man looked wearily up and Sam and sighed.

"You found me." He said, a little sadly. Sam looked around the warm room, it had a few bookshelves as well, but the books didn't look more important than the ones in the library. There was four armchairs in total and two small tables. Sam sat on the armchair closest to Castiel.

"Why have you been avoiding us?" Sam asked, straight to the point.

"I have not being avoiding you, I've simply not had anything to say," Castiel was watching the fire.

"That doesn't mean you have to hide out here! I know things have been difficult, and Dean's being a dick, but you can always talk to me. I want you to talk to me. You're my friend too, you know? I don't want to to suffer in silence," Sam grabbed Cas' arm and squeezed in gently in a comforting manner.

"Sam, I... I don't know what to say," Cas said sadly.

"I know. But you two need to work things out," Sam half smiled. "Come on, it's been over a week. You both need to fix it." Castiel nodded half-heartedly and figured he might as well humor Sam because otherwise he would pester him until he talked to Dean anyway. Castiel would also need to invest in a new hideout, particularly if the conversation with Dean went they way he was expecting. The two men found Dean seated at the kitchen table.

"Look who I found. Now, you two are going to talk this out. Do I need to stay and mediate or can I leave you alone together?" Sam asked, bitchfacing the pair to the max.

"Yeah, Sam, we'll be okay," Dean smirked with false confidence. Sam rolled his eyes and left. Dean gestured the seat across the table from him and Castiel promptly sank into it. 

"So..." Dean began quietly. Cas was looking at him expectantly, but after a moment realized that maybe he was making Dean uncomfortable so he pointedly looked elsewhere. Dean took a deep breath. "Cas, I just want things to be okay between us. I know you've been avoiding me and its not hard to figure out why; you think I'm angry with you? I'm not. It's not your fault, what happened with Metatron." Dean halted in concern as pain flickered across Castiel's features. Dean didn't bring up the part where Cas was in love with him. It made the former angel wonder if the hunter didn't put two and two together. That kinda hurt Cas. "What's the matter, man?"

"Hm? Oh, stomach ache," Castiel lied. "Right. Understood." He smiled thinly.

"Right. Because you're my best friend. I don't wanna lose that because you think I'm upset." Dean smiled in return. In Castiel's opinion he over emphasized 'best friend' but maybe Cas was just being paranoid. Cas stood up, ready to leave.

"Well, now that that's sorted out, I'm gonna go..." Castiel trailed off as he left the room. He wandered around for a little and passed Sam.

"We've talked, things are okay." Castiel said in a monotone voice, not bothering to stop. 

Every now and then, Castiel would pause and pull at a light on a wall, press on a point in the plaster, feel the underside of a table for a button to open a secret passage way. Eventually, he accidentally stood on a loose nail and the wall to his left swung forward. He moved into the hidden room and closed the door - well, wall - and peered around. It was a reasonably large room with a king bed and a bedside table and lamp, a large cupboard, a fireplace and another mystery door. Upon opening said door, Castiel discovered a small bathroom with a hot tub, shower, sink and toilet. Aside from the thick layer of dust it was absolutely perfect. No one would ever find him here and he could hide out there for days on end as long as he had supplies. He quickly decided that this would be his new room, no one would be able to wait until night time to find him in his assigned bedroom and he wouldn't have to pass Dean on the way to the bathroom.

Over the next few days, Cas was almost never seen except occasionally in the kitchen.

"I thought you talked to him?" Sam hissed as Castiel left the kitchen with a cup of tea to go god knows where.

"We did talk!" Dean stared after him, concerned. 

"What the hell did you say?" Sam asked, fearing the answer. Dean screwed up his face and thought back to their conversation.

"I said that I wanted things to be okay and that I'm not angry and we can move on. I told him that he was my best friend and I didn't want to lose that and he left. Oh, he said something about a stomach ache, maybe he's been sick?" Dean shrugged. Sam stared at him incredulously and shook his head slowly.

"So, you basically friend-zoned the guy," Sam huffed in annoyance. "No wonder he's still avoiding us."

"I'm sorry, this is my fault? Why should I have to pretend I'm in love with him so that things can be normal?" Dean snapped.

"Are - you - kidding - me? Wouldn't be that much of a pretense! Damn it, Dean why won't you let yourself be happy?" Sam smacked his hand on the table in frustration. 

"Fine. I like him. Maybe even love him. Are you happy? 'Cause I sure as hell ain't!" Dean ran his hands roughly over his face and looked up at his beaming younger brother.

"I knew it." Sam said smugly.

"I messed up." Dean sighed.

"Yeah, you did. But you can still fix it." Sam assured him.

"I... How?" Dean asked defeatedly.

"Sorry, man, I think this is something you need to figure out for yourself." Sam shrugged.

"Are you serious? Dude, I need your help!" Dean growled.

"As much as I love to hear you say that, you need to go at it alone." Sam smirked. Dean rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah." Dean walked off to find Cas before he could think too much. He wandered around the deserted hallways and caught a glimpse of his friend slinking into the library.

"Cas, wait!" He shouted, running to catch up. He burst into the library and looked around.

"Damnit, Cas, I know you're in here! I saw you!" Dean said loudly, his voice echoing. Castiel sighed and poked his head around one of the bookshelves and gave Dean a tight smile.

"Hello, Dean." His voice was low and gravelly from disuse and his eyes were so sad Dean just wanted to give him a hug.

"Did you mean what you said? That you fell in love with a human?" The words burst from Dean like there was no filter between his brain and his mouth. Castiel looked at the ground and shuffled his feet.

"Yes." He whispered.

"And?" Dean asked quietly.

"And what?" Cas replied without looking up.

"And who is it?" Dean pleaded.

"Dean..."

"Cas! Tell me!" He begged.

"You know." Cas mumbled, looking up, his eyes bright, promising tears.

"Tell me." Dean said gently, moving closer to Castiel.

"Dean, you know. Don't make me say it." And he sunk to the floor and leant back against the bookshelf, tucking his knees underneath his chin. Dean went into protective mode and walked over to sit next to Cas and wrapped his arm around his friend's shoulders, his short, bowed-legs stretching out in front of him.

"Don't." Cas protested, burying his face in his knees, trying to shrug Dean's arm off. Dean left his arm around Cas and stayed silent for a while, unsure of what to say.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Dean mused. Castiel reluctantly lifted his head with a sniff and wiped his tears away.

"What?" He asked, obviously unamused.

"You fell in love with a human... I fell in love with an angel..." Dean shrugged. Castiel looked up at the hunter with wide, shining eyes.

"Dean, I--" Cas began but was cut off by Dean's lips crashing against his. It wasn't... Great. No fireworks, the earth kept spinning and when they pulled away there was a tense silence.

"C'mere." Dean growled and pulled the smaller man into his lap with ease, finding a more comfortable position and latching onto Cas' lips again. Castiel was a little surprised but eagerly leaned into the kiss, working with Dean, finding a rhythm. That first kiss hadn't been perfect, but now that Cas was taking Dean's lead he was learning quickly, much to Dean's pleasure. After a few minutes of slowly exploring each other's mouths, Cas pulled away and blushed.

"Dean... What, um... What does this mean?" Castiel asked, flushing with embarrassment. Dean held Cas' hand and smiled up at him.

"It means I love you," Dean kissed him on the cheek. "That I'm here for you," A kiss on the jaw. "That I don't want you hiding from me and Sam anymore," A kiss on the nose. "And best of all, it means I can do this." He leaned in and gave Castiel a full passionate kiss on the lips

**Author's Note:**

> First ever Destiel fic posted. Eep! Hope you enjoyed it c: xx  
> (Ps, apparently I had also started on an R-Rated Chapter 2/Sequel if anyone might be interested)


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